What makes a good Ex?

I read this on a blog that I often read, and I really like the message, I wish that someone else would stop watching CSI and NCIS to read and understand these...

1. A good ex is one who keeps the other parent up to date on the kids' school and doctors. That means sending copies of report cards, field trip notices, school newsletters for school and letting the other parent know ahead of time when doctor appointments are. Provide an update after the appointment.

2. A good ex is one who doesn't make the children feel bad for leaving them when they go to visit the other parent.

3. A good ex is one who allows the children telephone and Internet access with their other parent when they are with you without burdening them with your anger or resentment over it.

4. A good ex is one who doesn't grill the kids about what went on in the other parent's home while they were there.

5. A good ex is one who sees visitation as their child's time; not just the other parent's time...and respects that.

6. A good ex is one who shares transportation when possible. This time is for your child and both parents share responsibility for ensuring that time and bond. It should be referred to differently than parenting time because it's not just for the parent. It's for the child.

7. A good ex is one who is civil and polite without overstepping their boundaries.

8. A good ex is one who doesn't use the child's parenting time with the other parent as a bargaining tool to get what they want (you can have daughter if you give me xyz.)

9. A good ex is one who is emotionally healthy and is able to move beyond the resentments from the marriage/break-up to co-parent.

10. A good ex is one who doesn't make any demands on the other parent like there is still a relationship (fixing a car, moving something, a shoulder to cry on or ear to bend). That relationship is over. The only relationship you have now is as parents.

11. Don't answer the door in very little clothing. You likely will give the other parent something to laugh about later (been there, seen that, lol).

6 months

Big D is 6 months old today... enjoy the pics...

Worrying... Part 2

Ok, so EVERYTHING was dismissed at the hearings on Friday!! Yay!! Woo hoo!! Somebody obviously knew she didn't have a leg to stand on. But naturally, something new is coming our way... so soon after a victory... but I can't worry about it. Do you ever notice that when something so dramatic happens to someone you love, you can't stop thinking about it... and then your own life starts being a little crazy?? That may just be me. However, I decided that I can't let this drama affect MY life, MY goals and MY happiness. So, tonight, for the first time in a LOOONG time, I actually turned in my homework on time! I'm so exctied... a huge weight lifted off my chest. I just have to remember to take things one step at a time... Wish me luck! Oh, more pics coming from this past weekend of craziness... I'll explain later... I'm gonna get some nice restful sleep, now that I'm not worrying about homework in the back of my head.

Worried

I hate to worry. I really do, but I can't stop myself from worrying. I wish that I could stop, but since I'm a constant worrier, that would be like cutting off my hand... I don't think that I would know what to do with myself. I am currently worried about: (in order of importance)
1. The hearing tomorrow. I hope that everyone can put aside their anger, rationalizations and remember to do what is best for Big J, T&T, and Bulldog.
2. My statistics class... it's like math... only with weird symbols, and where everything can change...
3. The "Dad" situation. I won't go into details, as it truly deserves its own post or two, but none the less, I'm worried about it.
4. The J situtation that followed the incident from my previous post.
5. Sending out thank you cards for Christmas
6.Money
7. Upcoming shift bid
8. My relationships with R, J, M, C & D... am I really doing it right?
9. My relationships with my new co-workers at my super cool job that I have had for offically a month!!... am I doing that right?
10. The economy (finally something a little less ego-centric)
11. World Peace... I'm sick of all the war... seriously, would things be worse off if everyone just stopped fighting?

Leave me some comments on some of the things that you worry about... that way I don't feel so selfish.

When doing the "right thing" goes wrong....

I don't even know how to begin. I am so upset right now. I feel like I am going to be sick all over my laptop. When did doing the "right thing" become bad? It seems to me that people who choose to do the "right thing" get punished. For example, oh yes, because I know you are dying to know why this is keeping me up tonight...
Earlier this week J had a potluck/gift exchange Christmas celebration for her gymnasitics team on 12/19/08.
1. We were informed about this on 12/13/08.
2. We were informed by J's mom that J requested that I make something that she really liked for the potluck... of course the email that said this failed to inform us of the dish that J wanted me to make.
So, we waited for details. Unfortunately, I like to plan my days out ahead of time (mistake #1). I called J at her mom's house on 12/18/08 so that I could find out what she wanted me to make for her potluck (mistake #2). I also wanted to know what present she would like me to get for her to take for the gift exchange. J had NO idea what she wanted me to make for her potluck. She had NO idea what gift she wanted me to purchase for the gift exchange. She had NO idea of the time frame for the potluck/gift exchange celebration. *sigh* I asked her to ask her mom for these details, as I was off to the store after the phone conversation. (mistake #3). J's mom would NOT give her the details, and informed J that she would be talking to her father later. Unfortunately, her father was at work. I told J that I was really sorry, but without these details, I wouldn't know what I could make, when I could make it or what to get for the gift exchange. Then her mom grabs the phone out of her hand and says, "Is there a problem?" I explain to her my dilemma (mistake #4.) She just lashed out at me telling me that it was none of my business, and that J already had a present to take and that SHE would be talking to R later that night, then... she hung up on me.

So what did I do wrong? Was I really that bad for trying to get this info so that I could be prepared for J's potluck/gift exchange. No. I did nothing wrong. I did the right thing, I was doing what was right for J, and unfortunately, her mother will always have a problem with that. *sigh*

Now on to the new problem. For all of you who do not know, my brother is going through a divorce right now. One that we believed to be a civil divorce... unfortunately, it has turned NASTY... all because someone tried to do the right thing. I will spare you the details, because it is really really disgusting, and hurtful to my brother. However, because of the lifestyle that my soon to be EX-SIL lives, she put my brother, her children and the children that she works with at risk for a potentially fatal disease. My mother informed EX-SIL's place of business of this risk, and now there is a restraining order against my mother... my neice and nephew's cannot see their Grammy for Christmas. This is such a new low for my EX-SIL, and trust me, we all thought she couldn't get any lower, it is heart breaking. This Christmas is the first Christmas that my nephews will be spending in a "split" household, but now she has to go and make it that much more difficult for them. EX-SIL claims that she is "afraid" that Grammy will harm the her children, which is a disgusting lie. Why do these children have to suffer for their Grammy doing the right thing?? My mother still cares for my EX-SIL, and wants her to receive the help that she so desperately needs, so that she can be a good mother to her children.

The point of this post is to bring attention to all the people who selfishly think only of their own lives, and do not consider the NEEDS of their children. Children need their families, and the people who love them. The way that some people use their children in divorce situations disgusts me, however, I cannot change these people, I can only learn from them, and VOW not to put my children in those situations.

For more information on how to get help with a difficult lifestyle, please visit www.aa.org.

Stress=Slacker

So there really is NO excuse for my lack of posting except for the fact that I'm totally overwhelmed at the moment. I started my new job at the hospital today, oh yes, I did get it! I am near the end of an extremely difficult math class and I am afraid that I am not going to pass, not to mention all of the Christmas stress this time of year provides!!! So, I'm sorry there hasn't been much for you to read.
One super happy thing that happened this weekend, I got to see my uncle HP as he drove his truck into town! He lives in Florida, but whenever he is in the area, he stops by, it was great to see him! He is the first extended family member to see baby D! I am completely enamored by HP, I only truly met him for the "first" time (that I remember) about 2 years ago. He is absolutely fantastic! He is so caring about our family (me, R, J, M, C, D and my mom, my brother, my nephews and my neice.) He loves spending time with us, and he is so so funny, an absolute riot!!Unfortunately, I forgot my camera to take pictures of the family reunion, but he did invite himself along for our future Disneyworld trip, which just gives me warm fuzzies that I am worth something, even though my own dad (HP's brother) doesn't seem to think so.
Last thing, because I feel a headache coming on. Christmas is a pain! The decorating, the presents, the cards! Ugh.

Cristine

Baby D's Christmas Wishlist

C had one of these when he was a baby and he absolutely loved it, so I would like to think that Baby D would love one too... here's to hoping!